The Golf War
“The Golf War“ is the third episode of the second season of Gravity Falls and the 23rd episode of the series overall. It premiered on August 11, 2014 on Disney XD.
After being belittled by Pacifica one too many times, Mabel challenges her to a miniature golf-off which gets a tad out of control when some local residents offer their help.
The episode begins with Dipper watching TV. Stan comes in and offers him some “Stan-cakes,” which Stan states are like pancakes but probably have some of his hair in them. Dipper says he’ll pass. Mabel then bursts into the room exclaiming her accomplishment of getting an article accepted into the Gravity Falls Gossiper. Her happiness comes to an end when Stan reads out that the article is one that Pacifica Northwest wrote about how “w-necks” are the new look of the season. Mabel sadly walks to the living room table and takes a bitter shot of orange juice. She states that she wants to get something off her mind, and then a commercial for the “Putt Hutt” comes on. Dipper suggests that they all go there, stating that Mabel loves mini-golf. The Pines family and Soos then leave the shack, leaving Waddles in charge.
At the mini-golf place, everybody is having fun. Casual shenanigans take place in random spots while the Pines family are at one of the holes. Dipper, Stan and Soos do terribly while Mabel makes holes-in-one on almost every single hole. Soon, her playing has amassed a crowd of onlookers. Finally, they make it to the last hole where Dipper states that if she gets a hole-in-one here, she will have beat her previous high score. Mabel hits the ball which first enters and then exits the windmill but then misses the hole and comes to rest in a puddle. Disappointed, Stan tries to cheer her up as the crowd of onlookers disperse. As Stan tells her she’s still the best mini-golfer in Gravity Falls, a pinkish-purple golf ball rolls by and lands in the hole. It’s Pacifica’s ball. Walking up she greets each of them with insults: Fat for Soos, Old for Stan, Lame for Dipper, and Braces for Mabel.
Dipper attempts to remind Pacifica that the Northwest family are frauds, but she brushes it off and gets a hole-in-one on the bonus volcano hole. Mabel finally snaps and challenges Pacifica to a golf-off, but closing time forces them to postpone it until midnight.
At a restaurant, Mabel is ready to give up, until Dipper says that if she beats Pacifica, she could never rag on her again, and also suggests they break into the golf course after dark to practice beforehand. After Dipper says this, Mabel daydreams herself in a store, in which she offends Pacifica as a “beach valley girl stereotype”. Before they go in, Stan gives Mabel a gold trophy sticker for encouragement.
Their practice round does not start out well as each of Mabel’s attempts at the windmill hole fall short. Believing something is off, Dipper takes a closer look at the windmill. After hearing an odd sound, he removes one of the windmill’s panels revealing that inside is actually an intricate hive of chutes and ramps bustling with activity as dozens of miniature creatures with golf ball-shaped heads scurried about. Once the initial shock of being discovered is over, the tiny windmill inhabitants introduce themselves as Lilliputtians.
Franz, the leader of the windmill Lilliputtians, explains that they control the mini-golfer’s balls for this hole of the course. As a matter of fact, each of the course’s holes is monitored by a rival group of Lilliputtians. Right on cue, the Pirate Lilliputtians from the pirate ship hole begin shouting insults at the windmill Lilliputtians. Soon, the French Lilliputtians from the Eiffel Tower hole join in the shouting fray followed by the little knights of the castle hole. The shouting quickly escalates into an all-out brawl as the different mini-golf factions fight amongst themselves.
Watching the mini-factions in their attempts to combat aggressively, the Pine twins quickly find their antics more amusing than threatening. Trying not to chuckle, Mabel makes them stop fighting, stating that their fighting is actually adorable. Franz tells her that although their fighting may be adorable, the rivalry caused by their inability to determine which of their groups is the superior group is very real. If only, he sadly laments, there was some way to determine which group was the best and end their fighting. At that moment, a French Lilliputtian notices Mabel’s trophy sticker. As they all stare in awe and excitement, one of the tiny knights kneels on one knee and pleads with Mabel to help them end their dispute by awarding the sticker to the group she believes is the best. At first, she is hesitant to get involved but then Dipper suggests that this could actually give them an advantage over Pacifica. He explains that if she tells them that the group that helps her the most to win this contest will get the sticker, then each of the hole’s groups will end up helping her, and not Pacifica, thereby practically guaranteeing Mabel the win. Mabel thinks this looks a lot like cheating but after Dipper convinces her otherwise, she decides to do it.
Pacifica arrives and they begin the competition and with the Lilliputtians help, Mabel is quickly in the lead. After the tiny miners do an exceptionally good job, Mabel confides that she thinks they’re in the lead. Seeing Mabel do this, the tiny Dutchmen, believing she is now favoring the miners, decide that killing Pacifica will would definitly win Mabel’s favor and kidnap her during a break between holes.
Dipper and Mabel are in good spirits when suddenly, the windmill’s spotlights turn on revealing a confused and irate Pacifica, securely tied to the windmill. Franz explains that by killing her, Mabel will win and have to award the trophy sticker to the Dutch Lilliputtians. Not to be outdone, the little pirate people turn on the pirate ship’s floodlights and show that they have captured and tied up Sergei, Pacifica’s mini golf trainer, and unless they are awarded the sticker, they’ll make him walk the plank. Soon each group is shouting that the sticker should be awarded to themselves until Mabel finally shouts, “Enough! Nobody gets the sticker!” Mabel then has an epiphany and realizes that rivalries are senseless and dumb. Declaring they’re all acting like jerks and nobody wins, Mabel rips the trophy sticker off her sweater and eats it. Adding that real winners are those that work with each other, not against each other.
The Lilliputtians suddenly have an epiphany of their own. They realize that the only way for them to get the trophy sticker now is by working together because only by working together will they have any chance of capturing Mabel, slicing open her stomach and retrieving the trophy sticker. After Mabel saves Pacifica, Mabel and Pacifica work together to fight off the unified Lilliputtians and find a way out of the mini-golf park. Eventually, everyone escapes, except for Sergei.
Finally free from the Lilliputtians, Mabel speed-apologizes to Pacifica for what happened, gives her a sticker (I A-PAW-LOGIZE) as a peace offering and offers to give her a ride home. She declines the ride until the sounds of a pending storm change her mind. While in the car, Pacifica is surprised they’re allowed to eat in the car and reveals she is unfamiliar with sharing (or as she pronounces it, “shaw-ring”) and thinks it is a handover, when Mabel offers her one of her leftover tacos.
When they arrive at her house, Pacifica mutters “thanks for the ride or whatever” and then admits to Mabel that she had fun tonight. She even compliments Soos on his “w-neck.” As Pacifica walks up to her houses gate, Dipper asks Mabel if the feud between her and Pacifica is over. She responds that progress has been made and that, “Pacifica is just an ordinary kid like us.” At that very moment, the gates open up revealing an expansive courtyard and circular driveway complete with fountains, statues, sculpted hedges, and a couple of roaming peacocks behind which looms the huge Northwest mansion. Beneath a colorful canopy of bursting fireworks, a large illuminated sign sits upon the mansion’s roof displaying “Congratulations Pacifica” in large, bright pink letters. This excessive display of wealth prompts Dipper to declare they should have charged her for the taco, to which Mabel wholeheartedly agrees.
The Pines family heads back to the Mystery Shack, unaware that clinging to their license plate is a very tiny, and very angry, Franz. Vowing revenge, the Lilliputtian schemes and threatens until a pothole flings him head first into a sand trap. During the ending credits, the Lilliputtians perform a song and dance number for the captive Sergei.
- Written by:
- Jeff Rowe
- Alex Hirsch
- Directed by:
- Matt Braly
- Storyboards by:
- Matt Braly
- Alonso Ramirez Ramos
- With the Voice Talents of:
- Jason Ritter as Dipper Pines
- Kristen Schaal as Mabel Pines
- Alex Hirsch as Stan Pines and Soos Ramirez
- Jackie Buscarino as Pacifica Northwest
- Frank Caliendo as Sergei
- Patton Oswalt as Franz
- Additional Voices:
- Matt Chapman as French Lilliputtian
- Gregory Michael Cipes as Craz
- Jim Cummings as Pirate Lilliputtian
- Nathan Fillion as Preston Northwest
- Alex Hirsch as Old Man McGucket
- John O’Hurley as Knight Lilliputtian
- Kevin Michael Richardson as Big Henry
- John Roberts as Xyler
- Kari Wahlgren as Priscilla Northwest and Polly
- Casting by:
- Sara Jane Sherman
See also: List of allusions and List of goofs.
- Mabel’s had her braces ever since she was at least nine years old.
- Mabel and Pacifica are both extremely talented mini-golfers.
- Mabel has been an excellent mini-golf player ever since childhood and had even won 1st place in a junior competition when she was nine years old.
- Pacifica claims to be a globally ranked mini-golf player.
- Pacifica literally doesn’t know what sharing is, nor how to pronounce it. She pronounces it as “shaw-ring.”
- Dipper is watching a rerun of the Duck-tective episode Stan watched in “TV Shorts 2,” while he is eating cereal.
- Dipper mentions the Pines family has experienced a stressful last few days, referencing the events of “Scary-oke” and “Into the Bunker.”
- On a wall near the 18th hole, is graffiti of Robbie’s signature explosion muffin.
- Mabel and Pacifica continue their rivalry, which was fermented in “Double Dipper.”
- Dipper mentions the Northwest family being frauds, as revealed in “Irrational Treasure.”
- Mabel has her Sticktionary, which was first seen in the short “Mabel’s Guide to Stickers.”
- Stan’s real name, Stanley, is revealed on his licence plate.
- Minigolf Skillz
- Singing the Driving Song
- We Control the Balls
- Viewership: This episode was viewed by 1.3 million viewers on its premiere night.
- This is the first episode in which animation production is done by Yearim Productions Co., Ltd. Normally Gravity Falls is animated by Rough Draft Studios or Digital eMation.
- Although Pitt Cola has been seen in almost every episode, this is the first time it is mentioned out loud. This is also the first time the soda is revealed to contain actual peach pits.
- The duck that tried to eat the Lilliputtians bears a striking resemblance to Duck-tective.
- This is the first time a gun has been shot on screen.
- Although the subtitles translate the French Lilliputtian’s speech, “Je ne sais quoi sacrebleu au revoir!” as “I don’t actually speak French,” it actually means “Whatever damn Goodbye!“
- The episode’s name may be a wordplay on the 1990 Gulf War.
- During the ending credits of this episode, there is a cryptogram that reads “NLMXQWWN IIZ LZFNF.” Once decoded using vigenère cipher, it reads “REMEMBER BIG HENRY.”
- Found on castle wall, right after the golf cart dodges the giant swinging axes, the keyword is: “WHATEVS“
- The page section revealed at the end of the episode says, “9-12-20 11-23-10 5-12-19-19-8-15-10-17 9-10 4-16-19 17-6-19-19-10/” on the left and on the right says, “21-23-10’4 16-19-12-8 22-3-4 1-9-10-20-19-6 1-16-23-4 16-19’5 5-19-19-10.” After being put through all of the ciphers, it translates to “OLD MAN SLEEPING ON THE GREEN” and “CAN’T HELP BUT WONDER WHAT HE’S SEEN.“
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V – E – H – DGravity Falls episodes Season one 1. Tourist Trapped | 2. The Legend of the Gobblewonker | 3. Headhunters | 4. The Hand That Rocks the Mabel | 5. The Inconveniencing | 6. Dipper vs. Manliness | 7. Double Dipper | 8. Irrational Treasure | 9. The Time Traveler’s Pig | 10. Fight Fighters | 11. Little Dipper | 12. Summerween | 13. Boss Mabel | 14. Bottomless Pit! | 15. The Deep End | 16. Carpet Diem | 17. Boyz Crazy | 18. Land Before Swine | 19. Dreamscaperers | 20. Gideon Rises Animated shorts Candy Monster | Stan’s Tattoo | Mailbox | Lefty | Tooth | The Hide-Behind | Mabel’s Guide to Dating | Mabel’s Guide to Stickers | Mabel’s Guide to Fashion | Mabel’s Guide to Color | Mabel’s Guide to Art | Fixin’ It with Soos: Golf Cart | Fixin’ It with Soos: Cuckoo Clock | TV Shorts 1 | TV Shorts 2 | Mabel’s Scrapbook: Heist Movie | Mabel’s Scrapbook: Petting Zoo Season two 21. Scary-oke | 22. Into the Bunker | 23. The Golf War | 24. Sock Opera | 25. Soos and the Real Girl | 26. Little Gift Shop of Horrors | 27. Society of the Blind Eye | 28. Blendin’s Game | 29. The Love God | 30. Northwest Mansion Mystery | 31. Not What He Seems | 32. A Tale of Two Stans | 33. Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons | 34. The Stanchurian Candidate | 35. The Last Mabelcorn | 36. Roadside Attraction | 37. Dipper and Mabel vs. the Future | 38. Weirdmageddon Part 1 | 39. Weirdmageddon 2: Escape From Reality | 40. Weirdmageddon 3: Take Back The Falls Lists Allusions | Cryptograms | Goofs | International versions Related Media Unaired pilot | Creature in the Closet | Creepy Letters from Lil’ Gideon | Gravity Falls Journal 3 Infomercial | Gravity Falls: Six Strange Tales | Gravity Falls: Even Stranger | The Mystery in Gravity Falls | “Old Man” McGucket’s Conspiracy Corner Marathon | Between the Pines